Thursday, August 4, 2011

Milestones


It seems like every 10 seconds your baby is reaching a new milestone.  They grow and learn so quickly, it’s fascinating to watch.  My favourite so far is Aiden rolling over for the first time. After watching him for what seemed like weeks make it three quarters of the way over from his back to stomach, the day he actually did it I swear I almost pee’d my pants.  I clapped, cheered and I think there may have been leaky eyes (I confess).  God, what am I going to do when this kid walks? 
Also rated very highly is the first smile - that was pretty cool and VERY rewarding.  Finally you’re getting something back for all your efforts. 'Here Mum, have a smile, you’ve been working hard today'.   Then comes the giggling and laughing, is there any better noise in the world?  Slowly comes a variety of other noises… raspberries, talking and lately, whispering and squealing.  I like the whispering better.  Aiden has found his inner Mariah – he can reach a pretty decent octave or two.   Just when you think he can’t go higher – he does. High five Aiden.
We’ve also had a first tooth… and a second.  Without too much fanfare (at least compared to some stories I’ve heard) a bottom tooth appeared to a clueless mother who thought that he had a tummy bug.  Ahem.  I was so proud of him for getting that tooth up. Is it strange to feel like that?  Yes, probably. 
The milestones come pretty steadily, some big, and some small in the scheme of things. Aiden is now six months old! I must admit, reaching this age is a pretty big one for me.  I remember feeling relieved we made it to six weeks, I couldn’t even fathom six months.  For us, six weeks old was – ‘yay, we made it!’  It wasn’t a very over excited 'yay' as we were too tired to really jump up and down. It was more a going off to sleep after a dream feed mumble.  Remembering those first 6 weeks is what prompted me to write this blog.  I look back with mixed emotions - such an amazing time, but not without tears - from both Aiden & I!

I was besotted with Aiden from the moment he was born, but those first 6 weeks were rough.  There were a lot of high highs, and just as many low lows. I don’t think people talk about it enough – the beginning is pretty crap for some of us. I know it’s not the same for everyone, but for me, I’d rather forget most of it.  He was the most beautiful baby in the world, I loved him dearly and had so many special moments, but why wouldn’t he stop crying?  Why wasn’t he sleeping? He was sent here to test me, right?  Unbeknownst to us, we were dealing with a baby trying to cope with silent reflux.  Key word, ‘silent’, you really no clue they have it because you can’t hear or see it. The reflux was silent, the crying was not.  The poor little thing spent most of his time awake, and if he was awake, he was NOT happy.  My time was spent alternating between trying to stop the screaming and having him sleeping on my chest like an angel - polar opposites.  When he would cry for more than an hour it would get to me. I would think ‘I can’t handle this, please stop crying, please feel better, please… please… please’.  Sometimes it would go on for hours and hours and I'd be in tears myself until he would fall asleep from exhaustion.  Once he was asleep on me and the drama was over I’d just watch him sleep peacefully, thinking he was just the best thing since sliced bread.  I’d promise myself that I would handle the next crying episode better, be more patient and try harder to deserve him.

I was envious of the other babies that were relaxed, happy and content. I really loved him, but he wasn’t what I ordered.  I stayed home a lot, afraid that every time I walked out the door there would be an episode and I wouldn’t be able to calm him down and people would judge.   I’m a very strong person with strong opinions and sense of self – but I was a different person during that time.  I was trying to gain my footing and learn about the new person in our life. It took me a while to get myself back and gain confidence.  When it’s your first baby you feel like you don’t have the right to have an opinion around others that have been there and done that, but you soon learn that you CAN and nobody knows your baby like you do.  My lovely friend Brooke said that to me when Aiden was 4 weeks old and I so appreciated it - it really gave me confidence. 
Yep, the first six weeks is interesting, to say the least.
Then at 7 weeks old he was diagnosed as having the silent reflux and we began medication to help his body deal with it.  By week 8 Aiden had reached a new milestone – happy baby.  Happy, content, relaxed, cheeky, amazing, giggly baby.  It was a phenomenal turn around, one that Bill & I relished and appreciated.   Our life completely changed, we became more social and Aiden and I took part in a lot more activities.  Finally we could just enjoy him.  Of all the milestones there have been, that one was pretty damn awesome.  I wouldn’t change any of what we experienced.  It was a sink or swim situation – we swam, and are better parents for it. 

Aiden has been busy with all his milestones and firsts in his six months in the world.  So many more exciting ones to come in the next six months and beyond… crawling, standing, walking, talking – it is so hard to imagine. 

I’ve reached some pretty big milestones myself.  I am really happy that at six months, I feel confident in what I am doing.  It may be misguided confidence, but I don’t care.  It’s been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, but I feel like I am comfortable in what I’m doing – and I think the results speak for themselves.


5 comments:

  1. I am sure you are doing an amazing job! Cannot believe he is 6 months old!

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  2. And he's such a little music lover - danced before he crawled!

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  3. Yes.. I agree the first 3 months for me were very hard and people don't talk about it. I felt I was supposed to be this happy new mum... coping well and loving it. Truth was it was a struggle and I didn't feel attached to my baby completely. I also had anxiety about going out.. the crying!very hard on couples.. same reaction here re: the rolling over.. I cant wait until she stands up on her own!
    Enjoyed reading this... keep it up!

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  4. Thank you all :o) Glad you're enjoying it.
    Marika - thank you for the very honest feedback and also really happy you like it. I look forward to hearing when she has stood up on her own! I'll probably hear your cheering from here ;o)

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